By James Thompson
Social media has been all a twitter about a whole lot of sniffing going on last night during the presidential debate. Mr. Trump sniffed his way through the debate. No one really knows the cause of all that sniffing. So, that leaves us to endless speculation.
One commentator asked Mr. Trump this morning about the sniffing, and Mr. Trump replied that he does not have the sniffles and is “perfectly fine.” I guess that rules that out.
An ENT doctor opined that it was not due to a “deviated septum.” So much for that.
Mr. Trump insists that there was something wrong with his microphone.
What could possibly be the matter?
Could it be that there were tiny bugs in Mr. Trump’s nose and/or microphone? These can certainly be a source of irritation and can lead to sniffing.
Could it be that there were tiny feathers in Mr. Trump’s nose and/or microphone?
Could it be that Mr. Trump is developing an unusual form of Tourette’s disorder? If so, will he file for Social Security Disability Income?
Could it be that Mr. Trump was sniffing excessively to distract the public from the lack of content in his remarks?
Could it be that Mr. Trump has some dust residing on his nose hairs?
Could it be that Mr. Trump has a habit of putting some powdery substance in his nostrils to give himself extra energy?
Could it be that Mr. Trump was sniffing because he felt guilty about not paying taxes? Or that he felt sorry for the working people and their children that he has ripped off all these years?
Could it be that the US public will never know the reason for all this sniffing?
by James Thompson
Andy Borowitz of www.newyorker.com reported that Pres. Obama of the United States paid $5 billion to Mexico on the condition that they keep Donald Trump in Mexico and not allow him to return to the United States. Pres. Nieto reportedly stated that he would provide a path to citizenship for Mr. Trump if he becomes a productive citizen.
Breaking news has it that Pres. Nieto reversed himself and said that it is impossible for Mr. Trump to become a productive citizen anywhere in the world. Word has it that Pres. Nieto promptly returned the $5 billion and immediately made a counter proposal.
Pres. Nieto proposed to Pres. Obama that Mexico would foot the bill for a wall across the southern border of the United States and would make it twice as tall as Mr. Trump has suggested. In addition, Pres. Nieto would pay the United States $5 billion in cash if Pres. Obama can guarantee that neither Mr. Trump nor Mrs. Clinton will ever be allowed to come to Mexico again.
Word has it that Pres. Obama is considering Pres. Nieto’s proposal because the US government needs the cash, but is leaning against it because the cost to the United States would be too great. Apparently, Pres. Obama quipped “This would not be a bargain for the United States.”
Some are saying that Prime Minister Trudeau of Canada wants to get in on the action. It seems he has made a proposal to build a wall across the northern border of the United States and will pay the $5 billion to keep Mr. Trump and Mrs. Clinton out of Canada.
Both Pres. Nieto and Prime Minister Trudeau apparently received a dramatic boost in their popularity ratings in their respective countries. Reports are that both are enjoying a 90% approval rating among their respective constituents.
Pres. Obama is reportedly waiting to see what other nations will offer.